Not 2day!!!

As the day winds down, I am thankful for this day away from the world. Sometimes being alone can be very healing. I made three phone calls today, to my baby, my sister, and Jasmine's hubby. Fortunately the only person I talked to was my baby. Last night was worse than this morning for sure. I started off fine and then as the day progressed I sunk low for a little bit then I started rising again in spirit.
BUT! When I was finally in an OK place I spoke to my father who informed me that my sibling felt neglected because I didn't snap out of my funk last night when they hit me with what normally would've had me elated. But the thing was that when my sib called me they knew exactly where I was mentally. So I ask WHY???? My sib was sobbing to the parental unit this morning because of my lack of enthusiasm. So if what you needed from me was the true elation why would you tell me when I'm in the depth of despair??? Isn't that setting yourself up for a non reaction? Why wouldn't you wait until a later time??? WHY???? Because it always has to be about you, and the moment its not about you, you're all pushed out of shape. WHY CANT I GO THROUGH THIS? Its always been this way my whole life. I've always been about my sibs and what they needed before what I needed. So much so that they got used to me being there, and they took me for granted. And then as soon as they're no longer my focal point they have a FIT! We've had this conversation more than once. The parental unit is pleading their case as if I'm wrong for being upset. Like I'm wrong for having my feelings and voicing what I need. This is the second time this has happened and it enrages me! COME ON! 

(thirty minutes later)
So I talked to the other parental unit who totally understood where I was coming from having gone through something similar with their own sib recently. I feel a little better thank goodness. A little less angry.... Distress mode for sure. The other parental unit says we need to talk, me and the sib... Sure, but not today! Maybe another day before the week is over but not today.