Cant stop thinkin when I should b sleepin, but this isnt new. Prayin! Prayin! Prayin! Askn havent been on my A game there's ...been a lot of distractions lately still I beg u father HELP ME! I'm drownin! The blog is in-accessible at the moment so I'm left with only this venue to vent. I know u tell me to give this to you and u will handle it. For a person like me that's not easy 2 do. Still I try, but then I sometimes feel like I'm not handling the situation by "walkin away" frm it. I lack the confidence 2 know whether ur tellin me u got it or that I'm not dealing with the issue (like so many other things). I have no real sounding board other than my prayers, I'm havin a hard time decidin 4 ur voice father. When it was "GO Time" Holy Spirit pushed me n da right direction, I am thankful 4 that, No matter how traumatic all of that was/is u sent ur angel 2 guide me by the hand out of Sodom...
Now I lay here unable 2 sleep under the threat again. I cant believe what happend n front of ur servants father... just another ghetto scene 4 sure. Altho I begged u 2 allow me react, ur way has kept me frm compromising my standin. Altho I have "friends" I'm lacking that trusted soundin board 2 help me. I'm n such a state of "stress" that I lack the ability 2 do anything right anymore. My temper flares easily, and things that should b like water off a duck's back truly hurt me. Which again makes me angry. I just dont understand, but I NEVER claimed 2b the smartest or most clever. Matter of fact the only real thing u hear me boast about is mmy baby... I love ther dearly, but I'm failin even them at this moment. Its all slippin away and no matter how hard I try to tell my hands "GRAB IT!" they seem 2 just all b slippin away. Jehovah help me! Please! I beg of u! Help me!
Now I lay here unable 2 sleep under the threat again. I cant believe what happend n front of ur servants father... just another ghetto scene 4 sure. Altho I begged u 2 allow me react, ur way has kept me frm compromising my standin. Altho I have "friends" I'm lacking that trusted soundin board 2 help me. I'm n such a state of "stress" that I lack the ability 2 do anything right anymore. My temper flares easily, and things that should b like water off a duck's back truly hurt me. Which again makes me angry. I just dont understand, but I NEVER claimed 2b the smartest or most clever. Matter of fact the only real thing u hear me boast about is mmy baby... I love ther dearly, but I'm failin even them at this moment. Its all slippin away and no matter how hard I try to tell my hands "GRAB IT!" they seem 2 just all b slippin away. Jehovah help me! Please! I beg of u! Help me!
Not a good day for sure. Zimo called me at work and it took everything in me not to cry, and its only when I cant cry that I want to. I didnt cry a lick this morning.
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