I'm making progress!

I don't know if my spreadsheet is a shot in the foot half of the time. I started to track my weight, but I built to reflect a loss of four ounces a day.... which amounts to 2.8lbs a week... is that asking too much from myself to average 2.8lbs of weight loss a week? I thought that was a reasonable request, but let me tell you, some times it feels like AGONY! As of today I am 9lbs behind schedule and this is after I retweaked it when I fell too far behind last time. DECISIONS! DECISIONS! Half of me wants to start over AGAIN! And the other half says lets see if you can catch up.... HMMMMMM! Wouldn't that be nice. I don't know.

So my cousin came over on Monday.... what a ray of sunshine she is. When I showed her the pictures of our aunt's dress journey she commented that on one of the pictures you can could tell I lost weight. That meant a lot coming from her. I know as females the way we're always put up against each other its sometimes hard to be happy for each other when they're doing something we want to do. And I'm not gonna lie, my feelings were hurt when at the beginning of my journey my child pointed out to her that I had lost a little weight and it was probably only ten or less than that then and she OBVIOUSLY chose to ignore the comment or maybe she didn't see it. Yep hurt my feelings but I kept it moving. She has now begun her journey so I guess that has freed her to be able to compliment me. (Sad face!) Its whatever, I try not to let stuff like that affect me. (Another sad) That's like if my close friend is in a relationship and they decide to get married. Although I TRULY want to be married myself I'm not going to not be happy for my friend and give them all the enthusiasm they deserve for their happy day. I can go home and be sad by myself for my lonely state. But I know all women are not built like me, but its a shame that we cant all be that way.  Any who, I was happy none the less to receive props from her on this picture:

Like I said the other day when I looked at it, that was the first time I saw my weight loss myself. As you can see I have a LONG way to go. But I'm making progress, YAY ME!

This last monthly hit me kind of hard emotionally. I haven't exactly asked myself why but I indulged in everything that I wanted that week. Satisfying only when the item first hits my tongue, but it took a few days for the remorse to hit me. By then I was already up almost 5 lbs. So now I'm working to get that off and get back on track. What is the suckie part is that I was ahead of schedule for a minute there. And then eventually I started falling behind.  Talking to my aunt over email yesterday she asked me how it feels to be losing. I was explaining to her about my plateau right now. And how I'm scared to move forward. Well for one I was losing so fast that my skin was drooping and that was NASTY in my opinion. I bought a Pilate's DVD and amazingly that has helped A LOT! But I haven't pushed myself to keep going yet. Talked it out with Zimo, this week we're getting back on it. Although I had candy for breakfast yesterday today is a new day. Moving forward I'm trying.... and I cant wait to see my old face.... see my old body when I'm FRESH out the shower. I cant wait, I'm gonna HUG me SO TIGHT! I may even cry.... LOL! But I miss my friend that used to be me, and I've been through a lot I cant wait to see me.