No love lost!

OK so, you know how I whining about something that I just shouldn't be concerning myself with? Well the other day it washed over me like and epiphany! I cannot force a square peg into a round hole. I was praying and my heart was open, and it was as if I could literally hear my Father's voice saying, "young one I told you he isn't the man for you when you asked me a year ago. Why are we still discussing him?" I know, I know, but sometimes my heart gets desperate. But I wasn't desperate before him, why would that change now? I'm letting it go. Too many signs that have shown their selves to me, all I need to do is pay attention. I'm literally putting him in the Friend box (who can have too many friends) and leaving it at that. If he starts flirting again I will remind myself that he knows no better and to ignore it. He is not the one for me.

Now that I've gotten that distraction out of the way. Its time to refocus my energy back on myself. Tired of talking about what I'm gonna do, its time to make things happen. So lets just say that my theme music is playing in the back of my mind again and its time to live it. "So I like what I see when I'm looking at me and walking past the mirror!" Gotta get to that place.

I am appreciating my reflection more and more these days. When I wake up in the morning I am thankful I don't need tons and tons of makeup to look like myself. I know that I have a pretty good foundation and its just time to build on that. I don't even know what my style is anymore. I don't think I've had a style since I was a teenager. Its time to change that. I need to start looking for what I feel defines me. Ooh! I do know that I love short jackets and high waisted skirts and pants. Think Prince in the early 90's (which was kind of like a 50's style revisited). I can do without the ruffle blouses, but I loved the pants. Double breasted and high waisted. As I think about it, I love Overalls and Jumpers! So comfortable and Classic if done right. I love corsets, and fishnets! Denim is one of my FAVs and I love sleek looks. Hmmmmm, I don't know how that translates into a style for me. But at least I'm coming up with likes in my mind. If you don't know about Made U Look on here... you need to check it out. I LOVE her style and how she puts things together. I think I will study at her feet for a few years and until I master the creation of an ensemble on a budget on my own. I love the fact that she proudly will tell you she thrifted something and made it FANTASTIC! That's what I need in my life. FABULOUSNESS on a budget. Cant worry the nonexistent men in this town. Once I have myself together, I know my Father will provide "The One" for me. I know it.

I think about the All White party I went to a few months back. I put that whole outfit together. I was so proud of myself when it all came together. I felt BEAUTIFUL that nite and proud of what I put together. Altho my sister and little cousin picked out the hair, I told them what I wanted and then they told me which way to go.

I was very pleased with myself this evening, I wasnt the FAT girl, I was just me. AND!!!!!!! I'm wearing WHITE!!!!! Hello! White is not a flattering color at all, but the look came together nicely, and I have no complaints.
I wanna feel like that every day, even on my "bummy" days I wanna feel comfortable as myself. Well here's to working on me. SMILES! I believe I'm worth the effort.