As a single parent, I didn't get out much. My primary focus has been to try to provide my child with a stable and loving home environment. On the rare occasion that someone did invite me somewhere most times if I couldn't bring my child I just didn't go. And since everything is done according to one income a lot of the time I couldn't afford certain adventures. I tell you, its not too often that I've gone somewhere that I didn't want my child to go to as well. Now that my child is older, I didnt feel so bad running away for a weekend or so. Mind you, I don't plan on doing it too often, but every now and then isn't bad.
Thankfully there are some still some single friends and family to venture out with. I love my married friends and family, but its just hard sometimes not to feel like the third or fifth wheel. Besides most of them are in their own world so it works. See you when I see you, no harm no foul.
Last night in bed the thought occurred to me that I have a convention this weekend, and the thought of meeting my future husband hadn't crossed my mind. Could it be that I've given up? Maybe.... I'm not one to keep stressing over something that I know wont happen. Kind of like when I wanted a second child. I was too afraid to just get it done, so I played Russian Roulette if you will. In the end I decided to be happy with the one child I had. I found the plus side to my situation and I kept it moving. What a blessing that change of heart proved to be. And now I'm anti-baby-making-from-my-womb. I could never go through that trauma again and be perfectly happy. If I didn't fear surgery I would go make sure it was a done deal right now. Besides finally my brother has blessed me with a niece and eventually one more child. I can be the fabulous Auntie (mothering without the responsibility) and in my mind its the way to go.
So far this year, I've gone to Long Beach, and Arizona. Well in a matter of months I will have traveled back to the happiest place on earth (D-land), Florida, and a quickie to Magic Mountain six flags. Not to mention I promised my new friend in LA that would travel back out that way next year. Finding the money to do all this is the hardest part, but other than that I'm excited. I'm looking for that old me who gets excited about things and my excitement leads to complete and utter silliness. I miss that about me, as I had a lot of sour grapes these past few years.
Florida will be my baby's and I's first flight together. We've both flown with others on our flights in the past. So excited about this trip. Again all my single cousins, but a different group. Silly and down to earth folks. I cant wait....
As usual thanks for reading. I'll check in soon.
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