I never get it!

I never seem to pick up on when some one's flirting with me... WAIT! I take that back. I knew the bartender yesterday was flirting with me, but only because he wanted me to spend more money. I highly doubt there was anything genuine in his flirtation, and even if there was my disregard for his flirtation was real. But I guess if I was a flirt I would be able to zoom in on it right away. Normally fifty million years later I get it and go, oh yea. I guess maybe they were interested, but by the time I get it they're already married with six kids and blissfully happy. I just don't assume that a guy is talking to me or even breathing in my direction because he's interested. And whenever I allow myself to "take those clues" and run with them. I end up with MUD in my face, as the idiot informs me that I read it all wrong, when really if I came to that conclusion about you then it has to be pretty obvious to the world and me that you were flirting! Any who there's a nice guy, and he's so nice that I don't look at him in that way (short coming on my side). I saw him yesterday, and he gave me the BIGGEST hug... first of all can I say I LOVE HUGS! And it caught me off guard as I didn't expect him to hug me like that. Would it be desperate of me to wonder why he hugged me like that? UGH! There was nothing wrong with the way he hugged me, I was actually standing next to my father when he did it. Believe me if there was something wrong with it, the world would've heard about it. But alas, experience has taught me to chew it back... if I thought there was something behind it, to let it go. I only really ever see him once a year anyways. I so rarely see him that he didn't realize I had a child. I introduced them and he said you don't look old enough to have a child that old, and I told him because I'm not. Someone told me not to say that because guys don't like to hear things like that. But its only the truth, no I wasn't sixteen or even eighteen when my child was born, but it sure felt like it. I wasn't ready... but now... I don't want to try again either. LOL! Cant win for trying. But I will say that he's a nice guy, I don't know why he isn't married yet. I wish him the best in everything, and as for me. I'll keep my nose to the ground. I don't have the self esteem to experience the disappointment of unfulfilled hopes again... I'm keeping to myself. No thanx!